The pressure is on. I am numb but my tears always threaten to wet my cheeks.
It's already November. I wonder where did the time go to?

Less than a month and I've got to make the big decision.
I can't just make coffee forever, be it being a part timer or a full timer.
I know I'm still young and I can still study. I really don't mind going back to school.
But the main problem is, I don't know what course I want to venture in.

Deep inside, I really don't want to waste another year earning shitty pay.
I gotta do something and not waste my time. Time is money right?
Sigh, why can't I just find myself a wealthy boyfriend? Okay, I really am not money minded.

Perhaps just someone to give me the moral support.
It's hard talking to M. Yes, I know she's tired with my decisions and fucked up plans.
But what can I do? I really don't want to just waste money on courses I'll not end up signing up in the future.
Truthfully, I don't see myself as a childhood teacher. I might just a abuser.
My temper nowadays itself have proven my bad temper can go haywire(especially during menses).
I just thought of finding a full time job with a decent pay so I can save up and stuff.
Fuck, I hate all of this. It makes me feel so damn useless.

I've been pushing this decisions for far toooo long. I don't want to go back to the time where I fucking wasted 2 fucking years sitting at home doing nothing. That was the worst part of fucking life.

I could have earned a lot in 2 damn years. I shall start checking out vacancies online during my off days.
Ugh, I hope one day, I'll be working somewhere where I earn a good sum of money so that I can support my parents. God willing.

Goodnight beautiful world. See you tomorrow, Insya Allah. Amin.
Mwah!