One thing that I probably would not like to see myself breaking down physically because I hate how cranky I get. I literally become an asshole and that's unfair for everyone around me. I'm feeling rather stress that I'm lacking of sleep. I don't understand why everyday without fail my eyes will open widely at 7 plus in the morning. And I struggle forcing myself back to sleep.

On another hand, you know they say, the more you try to push it away, it punch you in the face. Yes, I just can't help thinking about S. As much as I don't want to, I just can't. It's frustrating! I'm just hoping this faint feeling will not get more. Despise being in this position!

You know what sucks? When you're just about to know a person better, as a FRIEND, people misunderstand it and think you're "in love" with each other or however they wish to call it as. It's extremely irritating and also frustrating at the same time. At first, you can just ignore it but when it's happening way too often it gets to you. Affecting you in certain ways and the most unfortunate is to truly slowly develop the feelings when you don't even intend to. Pretty much like an unconscious feeling, but then you get to put your finger on what's making you feel weird and strange inside. I really don't want to make it more awkward than it already is and you know what's the fucked up part of it? It ruins the friendship. ugh just fuck this stupid theories shit.

Sometimes hope is just what you need to keep going..

Every inch of my fibre being is screaming in silence, trying to break free from all the pressure for the last few weeks. It's on the verge of breaking down both mentally and physically. I've tried to do everything in my will power to make myself feel better but it just gets worsen everyday. The lethargic feeling gets me every single time without fail. There's no escaping something that run through your bones.. It stays and it stings. It's been a really tough term and I've never felt so demoralized before. The urge to quit and run away from everything is so bloody tempting at every minute of my life but I would hate to look like a coward. I'm pretty much left with less than 2 weeks, 2 more major papers to go and I'm finally free! I'm just hoping that I'm able to cope all these stress till everything's done. God willing.