because this is taking over me, and i don't know if i am strong enough to go through it anymore. it's killing me and i think i might fall so hard.

"I know I'm strong enough, have a little faith in yourself", but my other thoughts were too loud and fast for me to adsorb that sentence. My heart aches with every breathe I take.. And then, I wonder, how long more must I torture myself with all of these bullshits? Why must I still dwell on the past? On that very moment, it felt like someone's blocking my windpipe and cheeks are getting wet. Why won't all of this go away, why?!

At times, it feels like the whole world knows about it and laughing, shouting hurtful words they can think of in my face. And it just feels like a punch in the face. I want to fade, fade into thin air because it's just driving me crazy and I just don't know if I can take it anymore.......

Will this ever go away? Will it?